Prattle on
Wednesday, March 28, 2007

So, I finally did the unthinkable. Those of you who read this blog or know me personally know that I have some conflicted feeling about my chosen sport at this time of my life. Capoeira is a great work out and I really like it, but if I am to become more serious about it I would have to buy the uniform pants to play in. Yes, the tight white ultimate low-rise pants.

The pants have become something of a pet conversation topic for me and my instructor. Well, sort of, you all know that I will do anything to stand close to that magnificent specimen, but that is not the point of this. The reason I do not want to wear the pants is that tight white ultimate low-rise pants do not look decent on a woman of my proportions. I am built for comfort, after all. I have tried to explain this to him a million times. He just laughs at me.

Well, last week, after I looked for some new jogging pants to sport at the gym I decided to buy a pair of the pants. Yes, I caved. Also, at my particular school, they come in blue so, at least, I wouldn’t have to wear the white ones.

I immediately took the size Large, as that is the size I gravitate to. So, I put them on and then the cute guy behind the counter tied the belt for me. They looked ridiculous. And, as is the normal problem for me, the started to fall down the second I started running around in the warm up.* So, I had to run around holding on to the pants to prevent them from dropping to the ground.

Finally, after the second lap, one of the more experienced pant wearers suggested that I try a smaller size as the pants expand with sweat (they are made out of a fabric not found in nature. In fact, I think they are made out of imitation polyester). So, I went back to the cute guy behind the counter and got the size Medium. They were better, but they also started to fall down after about 20 minutes. Please note these pants are NOT too big for me.

Due to the cut of the pants I have to wear thong panties. So, my pants fall down and people can see my thong and it is NOT my choice. Now, because my friends know how I feel about the visible thong** I have become the laughing stock of my class, and that feels great.

*In all honesty, pants generally fall down on me. GRC will say that it is because I don’t wear belts, but that is not the case. I am high waisted, long legged and flat assed. As a result pants don’t stay up. They do at first but then they make their way down my body after about 2 hours of wear, faster, if I am moving quickly. In fact, when I wear pants to work out in, they have to go past my belly button. This is actually the reason why I don’t like wearing pants. For some reason, I don’t have this problem with most skirts.

**Why not just wear a t-shirt that says “no class” and be done with it?

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