Prattle on
Friday, July 29, 2005
So, yesterday afternoon I dragged one of the interns to American Apparel to keep me company while I looked for a new shirt. This particular intern is an odd personality. She’s only 20 and her defining quality is that she is an endless stream of blather. She talks so much her voice – part surfer part valley girl – dulls the sharp edge of your brain and actually manages to flatten the life out of every story. She could read Penthouse Forum to frat boys and they fall asleep from boredom. The volume of words coming out of her mouth is astounding (she is talking right now in fact). Most of her statements sound like they are in the form of a question (“This movie I saw last night about a French Canadian hockey team? It was filmed in Chmonix? My mom always talked about going to Chmonix?”). Her comments are often punctuated with a low-pitched staccato laughter that bounces into your head like rubber bullets. They don’t kill you, but the pain is so intense that you wish they would.

Anyway, she came with me. I guess I chose to punish myself in this way because she reminds me of what it’s like to be a 20 year-old girl and a brave one at that. She is actually extremely capable and her next internship is in London with the world’s most prestigious magazine publisher. Yes she talks and talks and talks but her 20 year-old stories that seem to meander from one pointless intersection to another really mean something to her. People had patience for me when I was 20. I can have patience for her.

My god what would I do without interns.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
So, last night I had a hilarious conversation with one of the interns here. He’s like 22 years-old and I rarely get to enter the mind of a hard drinking, rarely bathing, sex hungry 22 year old boy. Let me tell you, it’s a labyrinth of desire and rye. Sex is the only thing on this guy’s mind. There is no greater pursuit. Why waste your time with anything else? He took a sublet with three girls because he wanted to “Get laid every night.” Alas, his ploy did not work out as he did not become an apartment sex slave/stud muffin as expected. He’s so funny because while he is anti-romance as many 22 year-old guys are, he also says “I won’t even think of dating a girl unless she’s someone I could marry.” I guess he has to know it’s love before they even go to dinner. His hilarious all or nothing approach to relationships is a common sentiment, I think. Not only that but it is totally romantic and belies his ‘only sex all the time’ credo. To think he could meet a girl and decide right there and then, she is the woman of his life. Well, that’s got a love-at-first-site element and what could be more romantic than that?

Now for the sweetest part of the conversation: When his internship here ends he will head back to Winnipeg where his friends live and he misses them, the parties the drinking the debauchery, it’s all there for the reveling in. Then he tells me, this boy from Winnipeg, Manitoba tells me as we walk down the streets of the Pussy Parade that is Montreal, “Oh, the girls in Winnipeg…” He even paused for effect “…they are so pretty there.” With his eyes closed he tilted his head back slightly like he could see them in the distance standing under large fully green trees or running toward the lake in the summer. He looked that special combination of blissful and hopeful. The kind of look you only see on a kid moving from one dessert to another. What hometown loyalty, what allegiance to his prairie town. His love for his hometown mingled with his desire for women was almost nostalgic. He wants to go home for the pretty girls. It’s like a World War II epic from the 50s’. Nothing could be more sweet.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
So, I think I have the chance to start an affair with someone, but I don’t know that it’s a good idea. Mainly because we’d be under a time constraint. The affair would have to start, go full-blown and be over by mid August. The positive aspects of it would be 1. some fun in the summer, 2. the intrigue and drama of it all, and 3. the blog potential is astounding think of how interesting this could be. These are all great things but really, is it worth the bother? For what will amount to – let me check my icalendar – 19 days of fun (provided I start like RIGHT AWAY ) I would have to manipulate my whole social calendar for this one guy and I don’t really have the time. My friend, Sheannangins, is coming to town this weekend and Vijay and GRC are heading up the next weekend. The weekend after is my birthday. Really, I think it’s more trouble than it’s worth. But, that said, when someone presents you with a free box set of the Chappell show or the complete season 2 of Six Feet Under and you don’t have HBO you kinda want to find the time. Know what I’m sayin’?

Well, I think I’ve made my decision. I can still flirt, right?
Monday, July 25, 2005
So, in health news: For some reason, over the past week or so, I have noticed an increase in pressure in my sinus. It makes me really tired, and I’m sick of it. I don’t know why it happens. Well, I have two theories. Ok, at one time I had three theories, but I ruled out brain tumor after a bout of powerful sneezing. I am not a medical expert, but I don’t think brain tumors cause sneezing. The first theory is that I am developing allergies. I am almost 30 and I have never suffered from them before, but once while gloating to my sister and cousin (both allergy sufferers) my aunt told me she only started to get allergies when she was in her thirties. Now her voice rings in my head, haunting me taunting me. Could this be the year it all falls apart? The second theory is that since I have been caught in the rain, not one, not twice, but three times, could I in fact have a summer cold? Whatever it is, it had better clear up soon, cause I don’t like it.

On the romance front: Yesterday I went into the internet café run by a very attractive guy I saw on my second day in Montreal. Man o man is he cute. My friend suggested we go in to “check our email” so we did. As she sat at the PC, I, ever so gracefully, strolled over to the counter to chat with the sweet one behind the cash register. I was confident in how cute I looked (thank you American Apparel) and as always, my hair looked great. I did my best to make small talk. We chatted about the business, my new laptop and sadly, his wife. Well, he isn’t sad about his wife, I am. Ok, I am over stating, I’m not sad about it at all. However, I need a new crush and I am currently accepting applications. All the prospective crush needs to do is exist. I will adore you from afar. We will only interact if we have to and when we do, I will always smile. When I walk away I will toss a sweet parting glance in your general direction. You will go one with the rest of your day forgetting you ever saw me, I will think of you for 20 to 90 minutes following our brief encounter. You will be the morning sun of my day, the raw sugar in my coffee, the cheese on my pizza.

So, should any boy reading this blog wish to be the object of my mild affection, tell me why you would make a good crush, please be brief and list two references.

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