Prattle on
Friday, October 07, 2005
So, this morning I saw Rob Lowe’s naked ass. I was at the gym and on the televisions right near the cardio machines was the 1986 classic “Youngblood.” Yes, set in Hamilton, Youngblood is the story of a young man wanting to play minor league hockey along with several local tough guys. The film is beautifully Canadian. I think they even drink EX in the classic 1986 bottles.

I saw Rob’s ass (I think the next time his ass was on tape involved a 13 year old, a hotel room in New Orleans during Mardi Gras and several glasses of the local brew) because there is a lovely scene where he goes walking down a hallway wearing nothing but a jock strap and hockey stick. Cynthia Gibb who is only good looking by 1986 standards catches him in the hall. The sound was off, but I pretty sure she is the coach’s daughter. Of course she is, it wouldn’t make any sense in film language otherwise.

The best thing about the movie is that the people who made it actually expect you to believe that Rob Lowe could play hockey. He looks like he weighs about 12 pounds. He is positively skinny. Meanwhile, his co-star has one of the most beautiful bodies to ever grace the silver screen. Yes, folks the great Patrick Swayze is topless for at least 30 minutes. And once, all slick and sweaty, he lifts heavy things in the gym.

The film also features a young local favourite. Keanu Reeves, three years before his landmark roles of Bill or Ted (I’m not sure which), Neo and Buddha, he appears as a hockey player. Although clearly skinnier than even Rob Lowe, Reeves plays a kid who insists on wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘Laval.’ I am real sorry the sound was off on the TV, because I am pretty sure he is supposed to be French Canadian. Imagine. He really was always beautiful.

As I ran I watched about 40 minutes of the movie. There were 4 women in it. Two of them may well have been credited as “Puck Bunnies in the Bar.” One of them was the aforementioned Cynthia Gibb (Of course Rob Lowe get into bed with her) and an older woman who runs the boarding hose he lives in, who Rob Lowe also sleeps with. Apparently the women in Hamilton are over the moon for the local minor league hockey player.

I have to say, I LOVED IT.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
So, I finally did it. I made it to a gym to join. The gym is right up the street from my place, literally a three-minute walk away. It has been there for a while, but you get into a rhythm with the neigbourhood and I just never walked in that direction on the street before.

The gym is a costly venture. Especially when you factor in what I call the real costs. Shoes work out clothes, and bus tickets to get there all factor in (this is why my gym ALWAYS has to be near my house or office). When we did the calculation of how much the gym cost I looked at the woman and said, “That will all have to come directly out of my ice cream budget. “ If I were to just totally redirect the ice cream money to the gym I’ll probably save money.

Thankfully, I still have some ice cream in the freezer. There is also some ice cream in the bowl beside my laptop. Yum.

We did a fitness test because it has been a while since I was attending the gym on a regular basis. The trainer actually said, “Your run test is excellent.” It didn’t feel excellent. I know I am a better runner than that – well I had been in the past. So I asked him if he was sure. He said he was. Apparently I have an excellent run test. I am pretty sure they say that to make you feel good. But, I’ll take it.

Wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
So, last night I had the strangest dream I’d never dreamed before (for those of you who didn’t spend time at Holy Redeemer Catholic School in Pickering, that was a quote from an anti war hymn we used to sing. I think it was taught to us by an ex-hippie teacher. We sang it a lot. I am not sure if hymn is the right word as I don’t think it mentions God or Jesus or Mary. Although, I don’t remember the song in it’s entirety, so it may).

I dreamed that I was in a “The Bachelor” like reality TV show. I believe the Batchelor crept it’s way into my sub conscious because just before bed I was chatting with someone on the phone about the show for some reason. Earlier in the day I had heard “The Copa Cabana” by Barry Manlow and that song also featured in the dream. I know what you are thinking, that’s a lot of camp for one night. In any case I was a contestant on a show that taped people on dates and throughout their relationships. We all had to assume fake names. I chose Lola. Why not, she was a showgirl and she got to wear yellow feathers. Anyway, I didn’t get to see my relationship on tape because the whole world was enraptured by one couple. It was this older blond woman with terrible eye makeup from Coronation Street (the woman who plays Liz Mcdonald – Beverly Callard – she is Steve’s mom and I think she wants him to get back together with Tracey Barlow even though she is a bit of a bitch, but she’s the mother of his child and he got rid of Karen. There is no reason to be alone, I guess). She was paired with none other than former President Bill Clinton. In the years since his presidency he has come to resemble a Coronation Street character complete with white tank top, a silver chain and pallid complexion, I think he even drove a cab, but he still had that voice and his hair was that perfect helmet of grey that for some reason didn’t detract from his overwhelming sex appeal.

Their relationship was really passionate but a bit rocky and in the end she decided to end it. Bill was devastated. In the scene where she dumped him, Bill just kept telling her that he didn’t understand and kept asking why. It was pretty charged. A little later Liz Mcdonald/Beverly Callard sat alone in the pub, Rovers Return, over a pint reminiscing and crying.
Monday, October 03, 2005
So, the inevitable has finally happened. But before I say what, I have to give you a bit of background. At chez moi I share a back terrace with my neighbours. On that same terrace I found the skinny Babette-the-cat who coned me into taking care of her. It is where I stand to socialize with both sets of neighbours. You can even use the terrace to kiss cute boys after the movies and before it gets too cold outside.

Anyway, this morning I stepped out of my shower and, as anyone who lives alone does, I walked through my apartment sans clothes looking for my lip balm, which normally stays in my purse, but this time was on my bookshelf.

As I replaced the lid on my lip balm and smack smack smacked my lips enjoying maximum hydration I looked up and there was my neighbour removing some of her washing from my laundry line. Thankfully, her back was to me, but who knows how long she was standing there. Also, she is one of these ‘discreet’ people. She could have totally seen me but I will never know. If it had been the other way around I would probably laugh out loud. Actually I’d scream or something. She would have jumped in shock snapping her face to me instinctively and we would be eye to eye. I am going to have to be more careful in the future.

Oh, here is a little update on little Babette. As earlier reported my coworker, Laura, took her home and she was blissfully living a far more comfortable life than I could have given her. In fact, I am secretly hoping Laura adopts me. However, her husband, Christof, began to suffer from the worst allergies known to man. I think what made them so bad is that he has no self-control. One look at Babette and he turned into a quivering sneezing mass of loving and refused to stop playing with her. The physical anguish was matched only by incredible emotional fulfillment. Very sweet.

However, as Christof’s suffering was epic, Laura finally had to put her foot down. She took Babette to the shelter. We both believed that someone would take her because she is really just ridiculously loveable. Laura called to check on her after a couple days and was informed that a medical check revealed an incurable infection. Babette was subsequently put down. R.I.P. Babette. In her last days she was adored.

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