Prattle on
Monday, February 14, 2005
So, yesterday was crazy. I had a friend come over for brunch but realized that I didn’t have enough eggs, so I made a dash to the No Frills before she got to my place, thinking that the No Frills is just around the corner and I should be gone for about 15 minutes tops. WRONG! I get there and there are about a million people in line and darting about the store in a shopping frenzy. No Frills was having a $1.00 sale EXTRAVAGANZA. It was crazy. I ended up getting more than just the eggs – you can’t say no when broccoli and luncheon meat is a buck – but the carts of my fellow shoppers were jam packed with all sorts of things. I mean overflowing.

The store was packed. I was repeatedly pushed into the avocados by busy grandmas and almost tripped by absent minded toddlers. At one point I had to wait in a line up just to walk around the corner. Getting eggs, bread, some veggies and other sundries cost me 30 minutes I will not be getting back.

Check out time, and my line up was moving faster than most, so I was pleased. Picking a good line up is key, and normally I do a terrible job of it. Then, in a stroke of good karma, a middle aged man let me step in front of him because I watched his cart for about 10 minutes as he went searching for some cereal. Things were going well. Even the minor crisis of a lost 8 year old was solved quickly and efficiently by store security.

The line was moving smoothly, but the high pressure environment of the dollar sale was too much for some. An overzealous middle aged male shopper collided with a harried teen-age stocking clerk and tensions rose culminating in the shopper challenging the 16 year old clerk to a fight in the parking lot, “You wanna go? We can go outside right now!” All eyes were on the pair as they squared off in front of the Sunlight and Downey fabric softener. The sound of stifled laughter filled the air as the man raised his arms in a challenge while his gut nudged the potato chips of a by-standing customer. Not to be outdone the 16 year old, half hiding behind his cart of returns replied, “Do ya really wanna fight me, old man? You might have a heart attack.” Finally the surrounding customers made room for the two combatants to pass each other without an explosion of violence. It could have been messy.

With the show over, I turned my gaze back to the check-out just in time to see a woman and her son unload their cart onto the conveyor belt. On their way to the scanner was about 6 bottles of pop, a giant container of Kool aide mix, seven boxes of pogo sticks, several containers of Oreo cookie pudding, various kinds of chewy granola bars, and 10 bags of Doritos and sundry other typed of ‘food’ that isn’t actually food. Basically her grocery shop was 85% sugar and salt. Don’t get me wrong. I like my share of junk, but it must be like Halloween every day in her house.

Anyway, I had to fight my way out of there. Exiting alone took me 10 minutes. I am a little afraid that someone got trampled on the way to the frozen food section, the premium Superfries were on for $1.00.

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