Prattle on
Saturday, May 14, 2005

So, I think the Latin medical term for what I have now is “Phi-hangoverous Medius.” This is what happens when you don’t leave the bar and continue to have martinis long after you should have stopped. I was actually pretty good. I had one martini an hour, but I was there for 6 hours. My friend and I were on fire because we were complaining about men, mainly because they can be such idiots and we can be such morons for them. So, yeah, the martinis can make it better.

While there I ran into this woman who works with me sometimes. Her name is Karen and she is really cool. She once told me this story about a guy she had broken up with. When she gave him the bad news, he fell to the floor and started rolling around and crying. How does one not laugh at that? Anyway, he was there last night. He’s pretty hot, actually. If only he knew that we nic-named him Roland Atumble.

Yes, we were drinking at the same place I often go to, and yes, I liberated some candy from the evil clutches of the bar owner.

This time my haul was the following:

1 pack of fun dip
2 candy necklaces
1 tootsie roll
1 pack of Power Poppers
3 ring pops (watermelon, green apple and cherry)
1 pack of rain-blow gum
2 packs of Popeye candy sticks
1 pack of Smarties.

The bouncer caught me stealing the Smarties as I left and called out to me telling me they were a dollar. So, as I walked away, I turned back and said “Don’t worry about it, baby.” And I blew him a kiss.

I think this is the last time I will steal candy. It’s become ridiculous.


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