Prattle on
Monday, May 30, 2005
 
So, one of the best things to come out of the weekend is that I have finally managed to clean my room with reckless abandon. Not only did I sweep my hardwood floor, I also mopped it with some mop and glow or it’s equivalent made by their competitor. I spent some time in there gazing at my floor marveling in the lack of dust. I delighted in walking around barefoot feeling the clean dust free surface against my sole. I reveled in the plap-plap sound of my foot only makes when I slap it against newly washed hard wood. It really is the little things.

It’s Monday and everyone is back to work, aren’t you thrilled? I am writing my blog to see if I can shake my brain into a somewhat useful state, because as it is, I’m about as useful as a preacher in a whore house.

On the way into the office I looked at the Toronto Sun. Why? Reading the Sun is like snorting cocaine. While always a bad idea, it gets you all worked up for a short time and when it’s over you have lost a number of brain cells (and GRC tells me that once you loose brain cells you never get them back). Neither cocaine nor the Toronto Sun has any place in my life, but I figure if I have to choose one of them, I guess the Sun is the safer choice, but only marginally.

I have always disliked the Sun. It really is a rag. A few years ago they ran what sticks out as probably the worst cover known to all newspaperdom (I know that’s not a word). The cover line read “Baby’s Torso Found, But Not Head.” Who made that editorial/publishing decision?

Anyway, I opened the Sun and glanced at the Homolka porn they insist on running – on the front page and as often as possible – and found a small article about the King of Swazi land (Which, by the way, I first read as Swayze land. It caused me to briefly wonder if Patrick Swayze had set up his own small kingdom in the South Pacific or something and if “She’s like the Wind” was the National Anthem). Apparently the King has taken his 11th bride. That’s right, wife number 11. I think he chose her when she was in her late teens and she has been preparing for the wedding ever since. Now she is 21 and pregnant, as is the custom before a king marries. He already has 23 kids from the other wives. Also, he has already chose wife number 12 and 13. They are both 17 and are also preparing for their wedding. I wonder if they will have a dual ceremony. I also wonder if the king is crazy. I mean 2 even 3 wives I can understand but 11? Come on now.

I guess it could be a pretty sweet deal for the wives. They probably have really nice clothes and an easy life in a very poor country. Also, they have almost a dozen other women to be friends with who are, most likely, way more interesting than the King. I saw a picture of the guy and he’s not bad looking. Mind you, I’d be afraid that he’d bring home an STD. They have enough money to raise their kids comfortably and there is all that help for the other wives. I am sure they have freedom to do what they want so they could travel and what not. Hopefully, they could have boyfriends too. They could go back to school and maybe get a degree. If I was one of the wives I’d move to Brazil, live in a condo overlooking Copacabana beach and become a fashion designer. It would be a sweet life, I think. Kinda.
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