Prattle on
Thursday, June 09, 2005
So, I must have walked to and from my bathroom about 12 times this morning in an effort to get dressed for work. I had wardrobe issues. Choosing the right bra with the right outfit is both an art and a science. The aesthetics have to be almost perfect – are they held nicely, do I look good from the side, is my cleavage alluring rather than sleazy. The bra’s ability to ‘work’ is also important, do the straps dig in, will the back begin to bother me, how does it fit based on where I am in my cycle. There are a million considerations, most of which I decide on instantaneously every morning, no problem. Normally, there is only trouble if I have to go somewhere fancy, but I have a couple bras that are like ‘ringers’ for that.

The issue this morning had to do with both aesthetics and workability. I am wearing a light pink shirt made out of a thin material. Great for the heat – bad for the undergarments. I don’t often wear it. Obviously I can’t wear a black bra or I will look like Stephanie K from Degrassi. Since, I have a collection of pink bras I had to try them all on with the shirt. It’s a good thing the lighting in my bathroom is different or I would have not been reminded of the following important lesson: when you wear a light coloured shirt with a bra made of pink transparent material and you are honey coloured, in certain lights, like the clear light of day, your nipples will be for all the world to see.

I learned that lesson the hard way last year. One of my favourite white shirts with, yes a lacey pink bra looked perfectly fine in my bedroom mirror. But, in the office, not only were my nipples visible, they were plain, obvious even. You could look at me and say, ‘Hey, those are your nipples.’

I hope this never happens again. Really, I think Visible Nipple Syndrome (or VNS), is less socially acceptable than Camel Toe (CT). That is why every morning, not only do I perform a CT scan, but if I am wearing a light coloured shirt I also perform a VNS test.

This is just on of my life’s little realities. Fascinating, I know.

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