Thursday, June 16, 2005
So, I’m, looking at my desk right now – really I am surveying the damage. I have taken down three bottles of natural spring water, one bottle of Gatorade. I have a bag of random pills near my file holder and strewn beside the keyboard are the salt packets that accompanied my cheeseburger and fries lunch. I want you to guess what’s wrong with me. All I want to do is curl up under my desk, but the office is still suffering from the flood, and by suffering I mean the floor is still wet and there is mold growing everywhere.
Between the hours of 2 and 3:45 I really thought I was going to shrivel up and die but that has passed and my second wind – more like a second light breeze – is taking me through the remainder of the day. I can do it!
A good friend of mine is getting married tomorrow and I’m the MC. Last night we went out to celebrate her and it was a predictable mess. Is tequila ever really necessary? The bachelor party was happening really close to my house. We went by to take a look at them, and I gotta say, their party was lame. We pelted them with penis shaped water balloons.
The penis balloon pelting may figure prominently in my speech, in-so-much as I have managed to write one and Meredith (the chick getting married) is really on my ass about it. It’s not a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of thing. I don’t want to offend the guest at the Enoch Turner Schoolhouse over cocktails. I’ll be fine, even though the last time I was an MC I barfed up my breakfast before the speech, sometimes I get nervous.
I got into bed at 4:00am. That’s what the clock radio beside my bed said. I got up at 7:20am. Feeling good, feeling great, how are you?