Prattle on
Thursday, August 11, 2005
So, last night I went to a co-worker’s BBQ for some fun and food. The rain didn’t stop us for spending time outside and grilling various cuts of meat. Well, the rain didn’t stop us mainly because the rain stopped by 7:30 pm.

Anyway, early on in the evening, I was sitting with two people discussing my up-coming birthday (and when I say up-coming I mean tomorrow). Yes folks, I will be 30 on August 12 and I have nothing remarkable or profound to say about it. Don’t get me wrong, the whole three decades thing is cool, but other than that, I have nothing to say. I was never one of these people who made a plan for things that I wanted to be done by the time I hit 30. I think it is because I have always had a hard time imagining myself at any age other than the age I am at. But this isn’t the point of my story.

As I was telling these two people that most of the people I know and consider peers are in their 30s and they are all having a great time, I look forward to the fun I will continue to have. Then I said, “I think I am still sewing my wild oats.”

Sewing my wild oats. One of the party’s drunker poets complained that “Sewing her wild oats” is not a metaphor appropriate for a woman, because it physically doesn’t make any sense. Well into the wine ourselves, we agreed and the hunt began for a more appropriate metaphor.

I came up with “slutting around,” but that doesn’t work in-so-much-as it is more description than metaphor. Here is a list of suggested metaphors:

She’s sharing her fruit
She’s breaking her bread
She’s riding her wild horses
She’s splitting her peach
She’s sharing her wealth
She’s spreading her wealth
She’s Patricking her Swazye (ok, so we were having some fun)
She’s Tomming her Cruise
She’s Russelling her Crowe
She’s tilling her soil
She’s trying it on
She’s seeing if it fits

Your mission, blog readers, is to choose one of the above metaphors or suggest one of your own. Come on, let’s all get together on this one. Lets come up with something good and then do our best to introduce it into the vernacular. Come-on, people put your thinking caps on.

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