Prattle on
Saturday, December 03, 2005
So, this is a follow up post on the new Madonna album as it pertains to my gym. As I’ve stated before, my gym is pretty small and us members kinda have the run of the place in that we can ask to change the music and we can even demand that they take ‘Youngblood’ out of the cheesy movie rotation – which they did.

Every Saturday they drop down to a skeleton staff. And by “skeleton” I mean that there is just this really skinny guy working the desk. Ok, I wish that were actually true for the purposes of this blog, but the guy isn’t that skinny. Anyway, he is always listening to the absolute worst music known to man. Today he was listening to Alanis Morisette. Not only was it Alanis, it was Jagged Little Pill. Not only was it Jagged Little Pill, it was some sort of unplugged slowed down version so you could actually hear what she was saying. You simply can’t run to a slowed down acoustic “You Oughta Know.” It actually makes you uncomfortable and not in a healthy challenged way, but in an embarrassed way.

Taking matters into my own hands I asked the guy if we could hear the new Madonna album. Because, as I said yesterday, Hung Up gets an A and even though the rest of the album gets a C+ it is still better than acoustic Jagged Little Pill, with the exception of Madonna’s I Love New York song, which is possible worse than the black Eyed Peas song I mentioned in my last post. The music at the gym can be a minefield.

Dude at the desk complied and put on the Madonna CD. To my delight when I got to the gym I noticed that the cheesy movie of the day was none other than West Side Story. Oh what a film. I am not even so offended that I think most of the Puerto Ricans in the film were just white people with dark make-up on. I mean it all comes together with that Rita Moreno. The woman was on FIRE.

Here’s where things got strange. The first track on the Madonna album is Hung Up. When the guy put the song on, it was at the start of the scene in West Side Story where the two rival gangs go to the dance. I didn’t remember this but that scene starts with a dark screen and red figures dancing. Like those heat sensing films. I know it sounds crazy, but the beginning of that scene combined with the beginning of Hung Up merged perfectly. Then, when the film when back to a normal shot of the dance, the steps of the dancers looked like they were made for Hung Up. I am not kidding you when I say everyone at the gym – all four of us – stopped our workout just to watch the dancing. You know how they say that Pink Floyd album is meant as an alternate soundtrack to The Wizard of Oz, it had that quality.

The Madonna album lasted the duration of my workout, and as I walked out of the gym I recognized the first few bars of some Alanis Morisette’s classic set to acoustic guitar. Thankfully, I was out of there before she actually started to “sing.”

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