Prattle on
Saturday, January 14, 2006
So, I think my ass is my personal trainer’s Sistine Chapel. Yes, it is the culmination of all his talent as a personal trainer, his years of work developing his skill and his desire to sculpt the bodies of every day people into works of art. My behind is a staggering work of his fitness genius. Seriously, I am not exactly what one would call bootylicious (to borrow a term from Destiny’s Child circa 2001). I blame my big Dutch grandmother. I think I have her exact figure. She was all boobs.

Anyway, a few years ago, while emailing about fitness with my friend Alex, I complained about my flat flat ass. I also asked him if there were any exercises I could do to make my tail look more attractive. He said, “Debbie, you can’t build on what’s not there.” After Alex dropped that bomb, I had to work through several emotional stages to get through it. I went from denial, to anger to acceptance.

I thought all was lost and I had resigned myself to a life where people assumed I had really long legs or a really long back depending on their perspective. But, lately I have started to notice that I seem to be building an ass due to the elliptical trainer and the squats I have been doing. Lord, thank Scott the trainer. Everyone said that it couldn’t be done.

I’m not saying that I have suddenly become Quebec’s answer to Beyonce Knowles. Oh no, that would take both a personal trainer and some pretty comprehensive surgery. But the improvement is nothing short of significant.

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