Thursday, January 05, 2006
So, last night I went to see Brokeback Mountain. Or, Break My Heart Mountain as I have come to think of it. It’s not that good, but the Heath Ledger character is so sad and lonely. I mean really sad. He is so conflicted over his past and the intensity of his feelings. I really think that the only thing that could make him feel better is a threesome with me and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Such a threesome will now be known as “The Perfect Storm.” I wish I could take credit for that term, but it was all GRC. She came up with it while recording her new year’s resolutions. Other Perfect Storm participants would include, but not limit to, Clive Owen (yes please), Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Kal Penn, Tyson the model, Colin Farrell, Brad Pitt, the guy who plays Brad Pitt’s cousin in Troy, Eric Bana, Big Boi from Outkast, Russell Crowe (sorry, but I can’t help myself), Marlin Brando (circa “Streetcar Named Desire”), The guy who wears the sleeveless shirt and cap at my gym, Ian Hanomansing and my ex-boyfriend’s younger brother.
Through the entire film last night I kept thinking that if I were married to Heath Ledger and he had a boyfriend on the side who happened to be Jake Gyllenhaal I would probably do my best to make it work. We could all live together.
There are a few other films I would like to see in the near future, like “Capote”(mainly for the talent of Phillip Seymour Hoffman) and “Memoirs of a Geisha (mainly for the pretty dresses). But I gotta tell you I don’t know that I need to see another movie to keep up with the pop culture machine. I have been getting a lot of mileage out of Brokeback.
I really think that Brokeback is one step away from turning into a Broadway musical. I mean Broadway loves three things, westerns, unrequited love stories, and gay men. Brokeback has got it all! We just need to get Willie Nelson and Neko Case to score the show and you got yourself a run away hit! Imagine all the cowboy love songs that could be sung by the male leads. And the angry or sad wife songs would be great. Man, I am genius!